Nashville Nights - Lipstick Edition

Thank you for joining us today in the Bible Belt, y'all. I'm jag and I'll be your server today. I enjoy long walks on the beach, having sweet nothings whispered in my ear, and sipping champagne in front of a roaring fire beer.

After an emotional Veterans Day (men in uniform make me cry like an overactive tear duct in an onion patch), beer and socializing is well deserved, right? That Friday night found six of us girls at a local Nashville watering hole for what was (I swear) supposed to be just one. Megan, my date for the evening, and I had left our better halves at home and had every intention of putting in an appearance at the bar but heading out early.

Yeah, that happened.

Turns out, it was one of the owner's wife's 40th, so the entire place was decked out in Over The Hill decor, and while a long table down the middle of the room was reserved for the official partygoers, everybody who came in the door, us included, was invited to join in the revelry. There were bottles of wine on the table, gratis, for the occasion, and a kick ass cover band was getting ready to start up.

Here's us during the first round, looking nice and sober (that's me on the far left - good God, my face looks fat - remind me to not turn my head that way ever. One beer turned into a beer and a shot, but, what the hey, two of the ladies had driven all the way down from Bowling Green to hang out, so it was the least we could do.
Then the guest of honor arrived, and we had to toast her birthday and all, so maybe one more couldn't hurt. We'd still be home by ten.

Resident cocktailer and Nashville Star contestant Tasha got up to sing a song, and shoot, we couldn't leave in the middle of her performance....

Around this time, some people from Anheuser-Busch were in the house, passing out free beverages. Now, it'd just be rude to refuse them, right? For the sake of chronology, here's me and Heather, who dates one of my oldest friends, at about this time - bet you can guess who took the Bud people up on their offer and who didn't:As soon as the self-imposed ten o'clock curfew went out the window, it was no holds barred. Much to the chagrin of the more conservative patrons in our immediate area, the band played a little Guns N' Roses block, which inspired this:When the Axl impressions start, it's time to go home. One of the main reasons I love this bar is that it's a block from my house, so I can party a little more than usual without worrying about having to drive home. If you're heading to Nashville and looking for a break from the honky tonks, holler at the girls. A good time is just about guaranteed. They didn't just hang this sign for their health:
They ain't lyin'.

The benefits of a boyfriend..

When you have a boyfriend who is very known in the musical scene..and happens to be the only Christian Hip Hop DJ...you know...he gets invited to many gigs...

And you know...I always tag along..

With a crew...gals and guys..and we have a great time....and of course my camera comes too...

See what happens when I tag along and bring my cam...and I go out on a night of NO-ALCOHOL..!!!

Yikes..!!!

It's the end of times people..the end of times..

I'm one proud girlfriend I tell ya!!

What a riot.

Last night, we attended the 11th Annual Oyster Riot at the Old Ebbitt Grill in D.C. It's a night of music, wine (and lots of it) and you guessed it... oysters. Mostly raw oysters - about 20 varieties - but also fried and some sandwiches and shooters. All you can eat. It's a huge party. This was our second year going. And our second year going with Kristin and Jeff.

What you'll notice is that there are no oyster pictures. Why is that? I guess we got really focused on the food when we first got there. So I never took the camera out. Well, that is until we were toasted from the wines and full from the oysters.

There were so many things to share. Some are here....

1) The ladies' room. It was a portapotty building - luxurious, though!

Framed art in every stall.

Feminine products galore....

Even real silk flowers.

I have no idea what this girl was doing. But doesn't she look funny? Can you imagine if someone took your picture in a ladies' room? Yikes. What was I thinking?

But this made it worth it. Here were two very made-up women doing each others' makeup. I was fascinated...

2) People watching and good friends.

I loved this girl's dress. Doesn't she look great?

This guy, James, was some character. Drunker than I have ever seen someone in an upright position for sure. I don't think he knew this girl. He loves his bowtie. He's an engineer who works with flooding. He promised he wasn't driving. He made some comment about whether we had sons to introduce him to. Not bloody likely. Though he did like my butt in my Joe jeans. I guess I should be flattered, but I'm not sure he had clear vision anyway. Probably didn't.


This is Jeff's stomach. Honestly? I can't remember why he bared it.... His shirt was awesome - kind of a searsucker but much cooler.

Now I really, really don't remember why Jeff was pointing at Kristin's breasts. I do remember thinking she had quite a stack...

Jeff was possessed. Doesn't this look crazy? They were giving out flashing oyster pins!

Here is Kristin with Andrew. They make a cute couple. Should I be worried?

Random people. Notice the glowing blue lights all around!

More random people.


They look serious. Maybe it was before the wine. Oh wait! It was! This was in their hotel room before the party began....

And now for the piece de resistance....



This was on a dare. Boy did it make the men squirm. (Though it wasn't authentic, I admit...)

I can't wait for next year's Oyster Riot!

Tough Girls 101

Tuesday night, we met out, for Just One beverage

While we sipped our One Drink, we discussed that Marcy and I have been known to be "pushovers" at times...but don't go asking us for money just because I told you that.

Melissa, therefore, gave us lessons on how to scare away annoying coworkers (not that we have any), pesky panhandlers, and lounge-lizard men that want to know our astrological signs.

She says that all you have to do is to look at the offender like this:


Yikes! The key, she says, is to hold this pose, without saying a word, until they retreat. She swears by it, and made us work on our mean faces.

Mike's tough-girl look is pretty good:


Marcy and I started out on the right track:


But we faded fast:



And crumbled almost immediately:


Until Melissa looked at us like this again:


After we stopped crying, we gave it one more college try:

I'm afraid it's the best we can do. Just take our wallets, already, and we'll e-mail you our pin numbers when we get home.

To protect, serve...and photograph

We were Good Girls Friday night, leaving the coffee shop right around 10 p.m. Having had Just One beer before our coffee though, we find it a good idea to serenade a group of guys across the street. We sang "Blinded By the Light" to them. They responded in song.

"That was fun," we told our poor friend, Danny, caught in the crossfire. "Now, walk us to our car and protect us from those idiots."

Here's a pic of our protector, taken last August. I have no doubt he would have taken on 8 guys, telling us "Run, ladies! Save yourselves!" He's just that kind of guy.




Really. It was a good thing he was there.

Oh, no! No one chased us, silly! You watch too much TV!

We just needed him to run the camera, when we ran into Cap'n Morgan!


Thanks, Danny! We wuv you.

We are family.....

Being the community minded citizens that we are, Kristin and I ventured out this evening for a benefit. Unforuntately, we brought our husbands and HER MOTHER-IN-LAW with us.

No seriously, it was a great time and we talked about everything from Jeff's grandparent's having sex while his parents were dating to my pink betty. Yes, it was a lovely and sophisticated evening.

Oh, and the wine was okay, but the Chopin Martinis were excellent.

And we didn't pledge more than we could afford. Even after the martinis.

(And doesn't Kristin look so cute in this one?)